The week’s news only lasts so long. Most long distance date ideas come down to one move: do something at the same time, in the same order, and keep one good question ready for the quiet part.

Here are four dates you can do from different places: watching, cooking, walking and playing. Each comes with questions for when you’re wondering what to say next.

Every question here comes from Lolo Cards - 5,200+ conversation cards for iPhone.

Why does a call feel like a call, not a date?

On a plain call, the only thing you’re doing together is talking. When the news runs out, the evening can stall. A date gives you something to look at, taste or move through together, with something to talk about along the way.

Researchers who interviewed people in long-distance relationships found that some couples use video to “hang out” for long stretches, doing ordinary things side by side, and that this shared presence helped them feel close (see Sources). You don’t need a perfect setup. Prop the phone up so your hands are available, and pick one thing to do together.

Pick one date, name it and put it on the calendar. Try “Thursday, 8 pm, pasta night.”

How do you watch something together and still talk?

Agree on a rule before you press play: pause at the halfway point, or whenever one of you says “wait.” Then start the same show on a count of three.

Ask the first question while the show is paused so you can hear each other over the soundtrack.

Take turns picking the next one. If one of you picks something the other has already seen, watch it anyway and ask what they remember best.

Illustration: a penguin and another penguin each on their own couch with a laptop, the same movie paused on both screens, sharing a question card
Pause halfway and ask the first question

Can you cook the same dinner in two kitchens?

Yes. Agree on a recipe a day ahead, shop separately and start at the same time. Keep the phone on a stand and angle it toward the pan.

Try these questions while you cook:

Sit down to eat at the same time, cameras on, and compare plates.

What if you walk together, in two different cities?

Both of you go outside at the same time, earbuds in, phone in a pocket or a hand. Each person describes what’s in front of them: the weather, a funny sign.

Try these questions as you walk:

Keep screens tucked away and save sharing photos until the walk is over. Then each of you sends one picture of the best thing you passed, and the other guesses the story behind it.

Illustration: two penguins walking in different snowy streets, each wearing earbuds and holding a phone, a line of small hearts between them
Same walk, two different cities

Which games work over a call?

A game gives the date a start and an end. Here are a few to try:

  1. Photo swap. Each of you finds one photo in your camera roll that the other hasn’t seen and tells the story. A good starter: show a photo from the farthest place you’ve been together.
  2. This or that. One of you names two options, the other picks fast. Drinks or dessert? Mountains or beach? Go for ten rounds, then ask why on the one that surprised you.
  3. Guess first. Each of you answers privately, then you reveal at the same time. Try “What do I cook when I want to impress someone?” from the cooking date.

For something slower to end the night, try these from date night questions:

How do you keep dates going when time zones get in the way?

Some weeks the schedule just won’t match. Try a twenty-minute walk if you can’t fit in a two-hour dinner. If there’s no overlap, record a voice message for the other person to play during their evening.

If you want more ideas for the days between dates, the long distance relationship questions article has rituals for those, including a question of the day.

The research on calls and satisfaction is mixed. In a 2021 survey of mostly young adults, more frequent texting was linked to higher satisfaction in long-distance relationships. Video call frequency was not significantly related to satisfaction in either long-distance or geographically close relationships (see Sources). The survey found associations; it doesn’t establish cause and effect. Pick a date that fits both your schedules and what you feel like doing.

Sources